Social Media Sensation Pillows

"Did you know that the average attention span has fallen to eight seconds? Oooh, look, cute kitty videos!"

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

The good news is, I got you a reduced sentence. The bad news is, the video of your pants falling down while you ran from the police went viral.

"That's easy. I wish to go viral three times."

"The baby is one thing - but how does the plant get more likes than me?"

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Twitter - You have 17,349,276 followers.

'Honey, you know last night when you were 'dancing like nobody's watching'...'

Millenial Peacock

"He's a different person online. I call it the Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Blog syndrome."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

City Marathon.

Obsession with the Internet.

"I, TikTok."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

Elephant ass selfie.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

Creativity 2.0

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Studying and technology

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'