Social Media Jesters Pillows

'Internet troll, right?'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

#NoJunk

'He said his first buzz word today!'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

Cowvid-19

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'It certainly is a big one!'

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."

"Congratulations! I'm promoting you to be my food taster!"

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

Downloading personal items on the company laptop.

"If anyone wants me, I'll be out photobombing the tourists."

'Quick get the teacher! I took an online ad survey and somehow I uploaded our student teacher!'

Man lies online saying that he is not married and his wife hits him over the head with her rolling pin.

"We talk all the time."

Bad Reads

"I can't live under a bridge, Mom and Dad. I want to be an internet troll."

'Raymond's an anarchist couch potato.'

'My social network friends would never find me. They'd look for a 20 years old, slim and sporty guy with curly hair.'

'If dodos are extinct, how do you explain our foreign policy?'