Social Media Daredevil Pillows

"That stupid selfie you took with that shark went viral. I hope it was worth it."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Obsession with the Internet.

Daredevil on pc when doing stunt.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

Ice shelfie.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

Like.

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

Information Tightrope.

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"Tell the world, are you digging for world peace?"

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

"At last - no Trump."

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

Final selfie

'Internet' 'Internot'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

'We have the same pinterest.'

"Yeah, my mum made me come outside to play as well."

Facebook/Meta

Free Internet Access

'I'll give you a HUGE bonus in bitcoins if you can explain to me what the hell they are.'

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

Phone generation.

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

Sportsperson is happy with most likes