Social Media Maverick Pillows

"In the future, everyone will experience 15 minutes of public shame."

Elon Musk-eteer.

Careful, friend - Clem there has an itchy Twitter finger.

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"I wonder how long before her innocent little mind is polluted by the internet?"

'Let's just say you've unfriended the wrong person!'

"I'm roundin' up a posse."

Free Internet Access

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

"I told Jim I wanted him to find ways of engaging with your people on social media."

Angry Bird

"It was the Foreign Legion or Facebook jail. What would you have done?"

Lynching on social media

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Selfie Stick

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

Elevator Pitch

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'My market doesn't understand me.'

Entertainment systems

You trip on it, you buy it.

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'