Social Media Consultants Pillows

"Once we corroborate your impressive resume with your social media persona, we'll get in touch."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"#Win!"

Likes: $2.

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Technology and Love

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"On yesterday's news, we left Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper in the Midwest, preparing to go their separate ways after their bus trip. Meanwhile, their nemesis, George, upset by the latest popularity polls, was consulting with his friend James about h

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Get me public relations!'

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."