Social Media Analyst Pillows

Public Me/Private Me/Actual Me.

'I can remember when you could only get mindless violence from TV.'

"As an alpha-male, I get roasted online, but none of these anonymous trills challenge me in real life to take over and lead..."

"For my 15 minutes of fame I've gotten 60 days of social media abuse."

Make America Great Again

'You look like s**t!. . . Much better!'

'I don't care if you can't afford health insurance, you can't take that type of picture of yourself, put it on the Internet and ask for medical opinions.'

'He can't understand why, with 672 thousand, 200 friends on facebook, in the state, he didn't get enough votes to win the election.'

'I can't believe how many firms let staff waste time on so-called 'social-networking'.'

'If you would've checked on the kids as much as you check social media, they probably wouldn't have been incarcerated in the state penitentiary!'

Donald Trump digs himself deeper.

Violent fake news on the Internet

"I know you're one of my friends, but I'm replacing you with a follower."

Sorry, I'm not interested in signing a petition against government collection of personal data. That's not what your online profile suggests!

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"You're by far the best candidate for the job, but unfortunately I found this cartoon you shared 17 years ago."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

Cartoonist's Dilemma

Trump Complains About Democrats' Opacity

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Press Freedom

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"#Win!"

Likes: $2.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.