Social Guideline Skeptic Pillows

Social Distancing

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Keep it 2 metres people!"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"Just because it DOESN'T say 'not to put your finger in a socket while standing in water' doesn't mean you should do it!"

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

"We're trying to come up with a less offensive term for 'political correctness.'"

IQ Test: If it's on Facebook it must be true

It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's okay.

On the beach

"I had a dream again last night, where I discovered I wasn't so entrenched after all."

"Please scream inside your heart"

Transvestite wonders which toilet to go to,male or female

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."