Social Guideline Skeptic Pillows

Social Distancing

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

All-Purpose Obamatoon

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Victorian woman at a bar.

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Keep it 2 metres people!"

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

"Just because it DOESN'T say 'not to put your finger in a socket while standing in water' doesn't mean you should do it!"

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."

"Please scream inside your heart"

It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's okay.

On the beach

IQ Test: If it's on Facebook it must be true

"We're trying to come up with a less offensive term for 'political correctness.'"

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."

Transvestite wonders which toilet to go to,male or female