Social Group Aficionado Gifts

'Wow! This is double the turn out my men's group usually gets.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Call me?"

Back to school.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Banana Smoothie

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

"Talk about old New York families—they bought their Warhols new!"

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'I've been a Sox fan for years.'

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."