Social Explorer Gifts

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I understand the food is only fair and the recreational facilities somewhat limited, but there's a large Amy post nearby."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

What've you done? I set you up on Facebook. I've uploaded your picture and a short bio. If you've got a long lost, twin sister, she might wind up looking for you. Really? It's that simple. For a simple, partially-evolved creature, you've come up with an idea that in theory could merit a thanks. I'll take it.

'The global positioning system says we're on the border between middle class and lower middle class.'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Do you have to spend so much time messing around on your computer, Harold?'

'You need to get out more, Harv- MEET PEOPLE!'

'Mom, I know all about the birds and the bees, it's the girls and the boys that bugs me.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'It would be for extra credit in my sociology class.'

Social Distancing

Club Antisocial

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

The four housemen of procrastination

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

Cyber Dream

"Ok, so I just texted everybody my commencement speech."

Books vs mobile phones

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

Auguste Comte

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

Traditional wisdom tells us that the brain takes on the shape of what it rests upon.

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Bubbies and technology

"Apparently it's demanding offerings."