Social Avoidance Gifts

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

I.T. Fear

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Nervous at a party.

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Election Cancelling Headphones

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

2016 Policlicks

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

'Is he expecting you?'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

Bring Out Your Dead. . . Stay In Your Bed.