Social Aversion Appreciator Gifts

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Alms Bank

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Pencil eraser."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Bashful Royal Guard

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

Alternative Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

The Scream take its temperature

"He works and plays well with others."

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

The Ribbon, Nemesis Of Crime....

Al, why haven't you ever told me about the birds and the bees? Because I find ornithology and entomology even more embarrassing than sex.

'I'm allergic to sand.'

"I'm ot saying you're fired Ed, but I'm also not saying where I hid your desk."

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."

Feeling guilty about breaking up with Susan after just two dates, Brad made things easier by wearing his Hideous Back Hair Toupee to the beach.'

"Just this once can you not relate my life story to our purchases?"

"Feel my shirt! Wanna Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material!"

'I'm sure we haven't met. I use a telephoto lens.'

"Sorry to end it like this... it's not that I don't like you... it's just that nobody does.

Learn from your mistakes...this is the last time I let you talk me into a double date.

Punk Rock Pebbles sux! Rock the boat! Leave no turn un-stoned! a rock with punk features and attitude.

'I want one of you to march over there and ask 'Wallflower Woman' to dance!'

"He was never one to waste words."