Soccer Silliness Pillows

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

Funky Facts: Football.

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

FIFA scandal

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

Ghoul Keeper

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

Sports fans wear the number of their seats in the stadium.

"Stand still, for God's sake, we're trying to give you a kiss."

"The Boss said that I should d more diving inside the box..."

Penalty kick 'ball' is a balloon.

'We're the only country where cats refer to this as playing with a ball of string. Everywhere else it's known as football.'

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"

"Top clubs paid millions for players, we got George for a pint of bitter and two packets of pork scratchings!"

This was the last time Fred would agree to referee a game between Bobble Head Teams.

Animals playing football.