Soccer Silliness Pillows

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

Funky Facts: Football.

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

Vuvuzela bin.

FIFA scandal

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

Ghoul Keeper

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

"Stand still, for God's sake, we're trying to give you a kiss."

Sports fans wear the number of their seats in the stadium.

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

"'Footcube', eh? It's a game-changer, alright."

Penalty kick 'ball' is a balloon.

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"

'Come here Sepp. I fancy a bite!'

"The Boss said that I should d more diving inside the box..."

'We're the only country where cats refer to this as playing with a ball of string. Everywhere else it's known as football.'

Ruud Gullit's 'sexy football'

"You are trying to block the 2018 world cup in Moscow!"

Sepp fashions the new FIFA strip....

"Top clubs paid millions for players, we got George for a pint of bitter and two packets of pork scratchings!"

Zombie Luis Suarez

Animals playing football.