Soccer Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Funky Facts: Football.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Football Bomb

Ref shows footballer green card.

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

Football Boomerang.

'Remember it's YOUR benefit game-go out and foul whoever you like!'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

FIFA scandal

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'Naw, I ain't athletic - it's just eye - hand coordination and the heft to hit the long ball.'

'Our team has gone undefeated since my players started wearing moral Blinders!'

'Did the bloke in the white shirt win?'

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

'I want a good, clean fight. And if I don't see you after this round, hard luck.'