Soccer Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Funky Facts: Football.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Team medic spraying deodorant

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Football Bomb

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'Remember it's YOUR benefit game-go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

Tour de France champ Octave Lapize

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

Football Boomerang.

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

Brazil vs Germany

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'Naw, I ain't athletic - it's just eye - hand coordination and the heft to hit the long ball.'

Vuvuzela bin.

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

'Our team has gone undefeated since my players started wearing moral Blinders!'

FIFA scandal

'Did the bloke in the white shirt win?'

'I want a good, clean fight. And if I don't see you after this round, hard luck.'