Soccer Satire Enthusiast Pillows

Football Violence.

'How is he at writhing in agony'

Funky Facts: Football.

Alternative fielding positions

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Loser's Podium.

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

The Washington Arbitrators

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.