Soccer Sideline Enthusiast Pillows

Coronavirus Football

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Egyptian Football

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Centaur Forward

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Men can show their emotions!

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

Football