Soccer Savvy Pillows

Football merchandise - Replica bungs

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Men can show their emotions!

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).