Soccer Sage Pillows

'Dinosaur museum,soccer pundit exhibit.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

It can be taken up at any age....

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

One way only.

Pessimists v Optimists.

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

"She died doing what she loved."

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"...And I don't want any resentments just because someone hits below the belt..."

Worshiping the TV.

This one needs re-booting!

"There's more to life than winning. There's losing - to deduct capital losses on your taxes."

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Football merchandise - Replica bungs

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'I just feel like a sore loser.'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

"You are using an unregistered copy of this software...please register..."

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'