Soccer Nostalgia Gifts

Diego Maradona

"My Grandad went to school with Gary Pallister."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

A prehistoric football match.

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Gotta hang up now. My mom wants to recycle the phone.'

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

Rugby golden oldies.

Post Office. Personnel. If we get the job, do we get a letter sweater?

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

Boys at Leisure

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

'You can see pictures - without an aerial?'

Classic Early 2020 Throwbacks

The worst day of the year for Bill Buckner...the ball drop on New Year's Eve

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

"In honor of high school football season starting, he decided to put his old interview on. Do you have a phone, I may need to call 911."

"Three generations of football"

Men in bar lament olympic beach volleyball ending 'I miss beach volleyball too.'

Pele 1940-2022

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"

'Do you have a pencil I can borrow? I'm out of ink.'

I must not write Repetitively...

He Watched Sports