Soccer Mom Sympathizer Pillows

Vive La Résistance.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Baby Footballer

Ball and Chain

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Soccer Moms

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

Football fan

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Big match day.

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

'I think Kenny's finally accepted fatherhood - he said he was off to play football with the kids.'

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Football Tattoo.

'Do you love me more than City?'

Some Angels don't need wings to fly - In memory of Robert Enke

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'Get back to your seat, Mom. I can handle this.'

Football Sisyphus

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

I hope you brought enough beer boxes for all the dads.