Soccer Mom Humor Pillows

'I made the team, Mom, and so did you! I volunteered you for team driver.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

FIFA scandal

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

'Get back to your seat, Mom. I can handle this.'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

Thank you for not smacking

'You don't have to worry about Rover not getting enough exercise, Edith. I signed him up at the health club.'

"The Boss said that I should d more diving inside the box..."

'Starting from bedrock again, Mom?'

Vive La Résistance.