Soccer-loving Sermonist Gifts

"I think the vicar's taking things too far."

Church for sports worshipers.

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Centaur Forward

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'I think I've scored.'

Watching the football.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Football

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Men can show their emotions!

The commentators want to run the officials...

Teenage Angst.