Soccer Faking Aficionado Pillows

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Centaur Forward

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

Football Accident.

Football/Soccer bubbles

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

FIFA 2006 head-butt affair

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Football

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"You're a really sore loser, you know that!"

Footballers - Niall Quinn

Soccer Moms

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

George Best

'My dad's a soccer announcer.'

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Ball and Chain

"Have we scored yet?"

Game of Foot-ball/Soccer,with single human foot

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"