Soap Opera Philosopher T-Shirts

'Correlation Street.'

'Einsteiners.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

University Soapflakes

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"On yesterday's news, we left Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper in the Midwest, preparing to go their separate ways after their bus trip. Meanwhile, their nemesis, George, upset by the latest popularity polls, was consulting with his friend James about h

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

An idea box in a shower

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"You're never too old to learn..."

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

Rutger Shower

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"Well, I can say if it wasn't for tragedy, I would not be here."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

Dancing with Jesus

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

June Brown

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.