Soap Opera Critic T-Shirts

'Heavy Metal or not, I'm your mother! One bad word, and I'm going to wash out your mouth with this bar of soap'!

"On yesterday's news, we left Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper in the Midwest, preparing to go their separate ways after their bus trip. Meanwhile, their nemesis, George, upset by the latest popularity polls, was consulting with his friend James about h

Mr. Bumble degraded in the eyes of the paupers

'I don't follow politics any more -- the plots are too hackneyed.'

"I'm not so ready for interactive television."

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'Einsteiners.'

University Soapflakes

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"You're never too old to learn..."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Well, I can say if it wasn't for tragedy, I would not be here."

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

No Talent Agency

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

June Brown

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

Soap Opera

Joan Collins

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!