Prime Time Philosopher T-Shirts

'Even though I'm in my fifties I feel I'm in the prime of life.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"What's it all about?"

"Mind if I tweak it?"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

The Graveyard of Deleted Tweets

"HELP! - I'm trapped in a dumbed-down medium..!!"

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'Bloody warmongers!'

A man dreams of a snake

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

"Yeah, we thought about having kids, but we didn't want to give up our lifestyle."

Long tattoo on arm of man drinking coffee reads, "Born to go binge-drinking, get pierced and tattooed, then wake up the next day really annoyed at myself for being such an idiot!"