Snowman Collector Gifts

Snowman Motivational Therapy

'Bless you.'

'I've decided I want to be cremated and have my ashes put in a snow globe.'

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

'This tastes like BOOGERS!' - 'It is carrot cake.'

'I heard about a great diet... guarenteed to melt away inches!'

'The North Country Snowblower Massacre'

'Your snowballs...they gotta come out.'

"Been working out?"

"Why would I need sunscreen? I never burn."

"Is there carrot in this smoothie?"

"Has anyone seen Derek?"

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

"You think I never saw a baby carrot before?"

"What? I thought you wanted me to eat my vegetables."

"I don't care. I'm freezing, I want to go inside and warm up."

I think I'm retaining water.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

'Don't you dare to freeze aunt Anny's mortal remains and drink it with scotch!'

'Can you smell carrots?'

"When I get down from here I'm going to quite the funny fags."

'I'm in for taking a heating lamp to my wife.'

'Anyone who's troubled by viewing the victim's corpse is free to leave the courtroom at this time.'

"That guys a son of a birch."

"Do you smell what I smell?

'With hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have prescribed diuretics.'

SnowmanBig City

Hey, I told you - Keep sticking your nose in other people's business, and one day it's stay that way.

Some days all I can think about is food.

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"Let's not get too hot for each other. I want us to last."

An execution tries to light a pyre under a snowman

'No ice.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!