Snowboarding Coach Gifts

Experts only.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

You Are Here

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Tommy!"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Go! Means NOW!

The trauma of losing.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Time Is Money

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Bears

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'