Snob Chic Gifts

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Scientists are sexy

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

That suit of yours is pretty appalling.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Gallery Guide

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

"Don't use that card, it clashes with your tie"

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'

"I have to go. I'm getting a better call."

"Hmmm ... interesting bouquet. What is this swill?"

"You're not going out wearing that tie with that shirt are you?"

"Genuine shabby chic - popularly described in the 20th century as: 'knackered old tat!'"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah; two years in French oak; warm days; cool summer nights. What the heck's the alcohol level?'

"Have you ever checked out London?"

"I've been to cities other than New York. They're cute."

"My dad was a gadget geek before it was cool to be a gadget geek."