Sneaky Pets Aficionado T-Shirts

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

'See what I mean, Doc?'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

Man giving one end of a dinosaur's lead to another man.

"It's the peacock-removal guy."

"Mittens, you are one wacky cat."

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

'It's a good owl dog.'

"Grandma specifically said not to dig in the rhubarb patch."

A burglar pretends to be a shop mannequin.

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

Hunting wildfowl

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"Of course, he's very low maintenance."

World's best carrot cakes.

May 1939 - The Germans invade Poland (Surrepitiously)

"I see you bought more of these! Must you live up to your name, Mittens?"