Playful Pet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'll help you find your bone if you tell me how you dug this 'hole.'"

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

"Pick me!"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Super Dog'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"He's already getting attached to you."

Love Conquers All

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'