Sneakiness Connoisseur Gifts

Surprised by an impromptu visit from his boss, Danny gets nailed for sneaking office products home.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

The Philip Marlow family

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Crime Writer's Society.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'Never underestimate my ability to slink'

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

Man stabbed in crime section of library, writing 'AAGH!' on piece of paper.

Government "Information" Agency.

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

'Well, he gave me treats, patted me, played with me: How was I supposed to know he was a burglar?'

Frivolous Fraud Squad

Tweet from this retreat . . you are toast

A burglar pretends to be a shop mannequin.

Hunting wildfowl

Your husband will kill you!

"One day all this will be yours."

Servant girl making an excuse to go out and see a soldier

You have the right to remain silent

"Does this count as photo I.D.?"

Clancy:Shirt for Every Day

"Ooh, I need a drink. I wish I didn't have to hide it...but I don't want the family making fun of me. Mmm...that hits the spot."

"Careful, Rocky. You're about to give away the secret behind your knockout punches."

"You'll see it when it's done."

Mexican taking a siesta. Telescope coming out of top of his Sombrero,

Court rooms. The judge imposed sentences today and he went easy in the first couple cases -- the lamp store robber was given a light sentence and the judge said the guy who packed up and skipped out on his rent was only guilty of a simple "moving" violation. On the other hand, the defendant convicted of illegal downloading had the e-book thrown at him. Was the judge tough on the politician who embezzled from the statehouse building fund? Yeah, he takes "capitol" crimes very seriously!

"Sir, your change."