Snarky Socialite Pillows

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"Omigod. The entire axis of boring is in there."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Practicing my hate-face."

Today's Buzz word...

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

I never finished our book. Me neither. I was reading another one. Me too. Totally addictive. Then let's choose that one for next month. Great. Facebook works for me! It's bookmarked!

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

'You look like a fun guy!'

"We're in the city now, Bob—stop making eye contact with everyone."

'You have to get out more and meet new people you can find fault with.'

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

"She might have stayed longer if you answered the door with your pants on."

Oh no! Here comes another lecture on the joys of loft living!

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

"I shall never forget Roger."

"Fun-sponge."

"You're welcome to stay, but the household goes all nude after 9pm."

Bargoyles

'May I say how delightful it is to hear he use of the word 'Egad'.'

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"I had too much to drink, honey, can you pick me up? I'm at the corner of walk and don't walk!"

". . . and so the wife says to me. . . Earl she said, you really have to stop talking to strangers."

"Is he bothering you?"

'Don't bother Daddy — he just got blackballed from the Hanseatic League.'

Anti-social networking

'Yes, my husband is an emphatic spitter. And, no, he doesn't wear dentures. Why do you ask?'

OPTIMISTS' CLUB, 'They said they never expected ME to show up.'

Why is no one accepting my friend requests? The Facebook page of Dorian Gray.

'Mr. Charles Borlin and friend...'