Snappy Sentence Crafter Gifts

'OK, I get your point. You don't have to get snippy about it.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Backfire

Do it yourself books.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Homework flavored dog food

'He's still addressing the nation.'

"Oh, we'll hang Kaiser BIll to the sour-apple tree..."

"It hasn't been published yet. Bloody idiots wouldn't recognize a great book if it jumped up and bit them on the ass."

The Sacrificial Peep

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

'Why do they have to be ivory knitting needles?'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

"Grammatically, the stickman should be behind the deer."

"I will not mince words, but I may slice, dice, and finely chop."

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"Thanks for your help, but I really don't need it!"

"It huts to be called a little piggy, doc. It really hurts."

Ghost writers

Writer's Block

Easy knitting project

Translator

A fish-eye lens.

'Spin Hour' in a political bar.

"My dog bit the neighbor who does my homework."

I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?

'No - I've been mis-sold PIP implants.'

"Hey, guys, I need a speech in 20 minutes. Could you make these scattered thoughts and half-baked conclusions into a compelling narrative?"

"Maybe you should buy a computer so it looks like you're working"