Snake Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."

Rattlesnakes telling a snake holding a rattle - "For the last time. No!"

"Nope, I'm squeezing as hard as I can, that is one stuck pig."

' I was thinking of celebrating St. Patrick's day in the old country, but then I remembered... I have no family left over there.'

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

'Don't just sit there! Give me a hand!'

In the course of the evolution, Boa Constrictors found new hunting strategies.

If it's a really good deal, don't ask why. You don't want to know.

'To help you overcome your fear of snakes, I've arranged for you to give a public speech on the subject.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Snakes on beach, "Can't you just unwind on holiday"

'I'm not going out looking like this - I need a new skin.'

'Never mind how it happened! Just get me out of this thing!'

Snake Blogging

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

"To be fair, Martha, you started it."

'Isn't Carl a scream? He's doing his garden hose imitation again!'

"No, I get it. At some point, every friend I've ever had needs to take a break from me."

"Now then, were you driven out of Ireland by religious, political or economic pressures?"

'Do you always have to gulp your food down in one go, George? It's so uncivilised!'

'It doesn't matter we're not venomous: Most people stay well clear of us anyway...'

'Uh oh... cramp!'

'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'

'But Slinky, you knew I threw hissy fits when you married me!'

'And what does my mother-in-law give me for my birthday? Foot powder!'

'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'

Snake to snake: 'This is one of those days I just can't seem to unwind.'

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

Snake bite.

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Snake leaving Bowling Alley.

"Somebody's got spring fever."

"This snake measures 24 inches."

'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'