Snake Enthusiast Gifts

Think positive.

'I told you it would fit.'

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."

Rattlesnakes telling a snake holding a rattle - "For the last time. No!"

"Nope, I'm squeezing as hard as I can, that is one stuck pig."

' I was thinking of celebrating St. Patrick's day in the old country, but then I remembered... I have no family left over there.'

'Don't just sit there! Give me a hand!'

In the course of the evolution, Boa Constrictors found new hunting strategies.

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

'I'm not going out looking like this - I need a new skin.'

Snake Blogging

If it's a really good deal, don't ask why. You don't want to know.

'To help you overcome your fear of snakes, I've arranged for you to give a public speech on the subject.'

'Never mind how it happened! Just get me out of this thing!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Snakes on beach, "Can't you just unwind on holiday"

'And what does my mother-in-law give me for my birthday? Foot powder!'

"To be fair, Martha, you started it."

"Somebody's got spring fever."

Snake to snake: 'This is one of those days I just can't seem to unwind.'

'Do you always have to gulp your food down in one go, George? It's so uncivilised!'

'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'

"No, I get it. At some point, every friend I've ever had needs to take a break from me."

'It doesn't matter we're not venomous: Most people stay well clear of us anyway...'

Snake leaving Bowling Alley.

'Uh oh... cramp!'

'Isn't Carl a scream? He's doing his garden hose imitation again!'

Snake bite.

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'

"Now then, were you driven out of Ireland by religious, political or economic pressures?"

'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'