Snail Fan T-Shirts

"I've invested in property..."

Snails with no shells at nude beach.

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'I won't be around, but think, Billy - you will see the end of this race in your lifetime!'

"I am running!"

'I give you an inch, Stanley, and you take a MILE. Whatever a mile is?'

A wind powered snail

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

"No more ice cream cakes."

"You sure you're feeling okay these days Sam? Your trail just doesn't have that glistening luster it once had!"

"I wish you wouldn't keep going 'Vroom, Vroom'!"

"Your father was a true giant among us. It won't be easy to fill his trail of slime."

Emo Snail

Snail one man band.

'What have I told you about body popping!'

"Hey! My eyes are up here."

"What a show-off..."

Snail Estate Agents

"I've just been gazumped!"

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

It's not slime, it's sanitizer.

"I didn't say I hated camping - I said I didn't understand camping."

"I knew we should have come sooner - now we'll have to wait forever to use the equipment."

"No, I don't recycle."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"This will sting a bit."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Civilized Salmon

"Think about the honey."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."