Snack Time Humorist Gifts

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"Hey, Jerky! You're standing in the middle of my entrée!"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

Did you see our favorite comic strip today. The oldy Oldersons. Lemme see! Jebediah Drake's The Oldersons by Abner Drake, Jr. Oldena, you know, I can never tell the difference between pastrami and corned beef. Don't be so rye. Hilarious! But you know what bothers me? It's only in 95% of newspapers. Some papers are replacing it with new strips. What?! Mobilize the troops! The most powerful political group in America: AARC. The American Association of Retired Cartoon Readers. Give us Oldy or give

'The law is clear. The salami sandwich sits downwind from the bench.'

Today's highs will be around 65. Today's lows will be getting out of bed and the morning commute.

'We'll both have the businessman's special.'

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

"Love makes the world go round?! What...for 30 seconds a month?!"

Are you a Questionnaire Addict?

'A candy bar and cheese crackers? You call that a balanced lunch?'

"Some times you just got to know when to shut your blow hole."