Snack Stasher Pillows

'I don't care if you can smell it - there isn't any more beef jerky in my pocket.'

Little league world series of poker.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

Dog's Sandwich

'Snack Bar's Open.'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

Authentic Hot Dogs.

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"Everything bagel?"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

Just say no.

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

"...you can't just keep dragging it to your desk."

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"Dad, what is a meal?"

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

'They're getting awfully entitled.'

'What a day! Mrs. Reed's own kids had her rubbed the wrong way before we even got to her.'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

'Defler, I'd like to speak to you about your part time, lunch hour job.'

"Keeping all your money in a cigar box is not wise. You should keep it in a coffee can hidden behind the TV, like me!"

Machines offer plain truth and sugar coated.