Snack Fairy Pillows

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

Love is when you watch television together.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

Stupid Microwave

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

Cookie Surveillance

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax