Smug Connoisseur Gifts

Human Cull: People who tell you they finished their Christmas shopping in October.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Imagine

Totalitarian Humour

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Clown's In and Out Trays.

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Clown Watercooler

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Seriously?? All these years swimming in shark infested seas, just to catch a few fish, and you're telling me all we needed was a rod and a bucket of bait?"

Blue wine

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."