Smartphone Survivor Gifts

"After being lost in the desert for days, I'd think your first request would be for water, not a phone charger."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

All the apps hidden within a phone

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"....To hear those options again, press the pound sign, or click your heels three times to return to the main menu."

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"We'll have to operate to remove the phone from her hand!"

"My new mobile phone makes me feel so space age!"

Consumer care and technologies

Pandora's Inbox

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'I'm sorry my social needs are changing & I need to upgrade.'

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

'Dude ... I think your avatar just had a stroke.'

Some apps are really useful.

"I think I'm addicted to technology. I bought two smartphones so I could get a second opinion."

"My phone has a cracked screen."

The importance of mobile phones