Smartphone Skeptic T-Shirts

'My smart phone is an idiot'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Ok, so, um yeah. So four score and seven years ago today our fath... ...wait, did I do that part already? Sorry, let me find the next part."

Great news. I got an iPhone. Shut up! You did? Is it not awesome? It is not. Huh? You mean it is awesome or it is not awesome? Yes. Let us begin again. Is it not the greatest device of any kind ever invented? You're making no sense. My point: I hate the iPhone. You're making no sense.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen in "the difference between us."

Phone Ban

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'Can you ol' Blackberry do that?'

NIl by 'phone.

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"We come from a planet where the population is smart and phones are stupid."

"Of course we allow smartphones, just not thumbs..."

Modern Life Blues

"I built the moat to throw out all the smart phones. Nothing was getting conquered around here."

"If it's so smart why can't it fit in your pocket?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Digital Fomo!

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

United Church of OMG

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Modern Portrait Gallery

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

I'm Stupid (Damn Autocorrect)

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"This is gonna be great!"