Smart Home Curator Pillows

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"I've got a smart phone, a smart car, a smart TV, a smart doorbell, a smart kettle, a smart heating system and a smart meter. . .In fact, the only thing that ISN'T smart is ME. . . !"

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

"You are still here."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

Caliologist

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."