Smart Home Wizard Pillows

"Are you sure you have everything wired correctly? Every time you try to change the channel, I hear the toilet flush."

"Yeah, mom. Harry used to vent his rage on dumb appliances, but now the smart ones talk back."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"You are still here."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"