Smart Devices Gifts

"Quiet, they're talking."

"I remember when 'family time' meant everyone staring at the same screen."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"I should have never added the car to my chat group."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Sorry I'm late. My smartphone teamed with my smart car and they decided I was too tired to drive."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

iClaudius

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

The Computer Bore

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Likes: $2.

Elfie Stick

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Text Culture

Giraffe Selfie

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Textin’"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."