Small Talk Struggler T-Shirts

"He's a brilliant man in his field, but has absolutely no small talk."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

What price beauty?

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

Let's talk about the weather.

He took every chance to practice his talk.

Dadonomics

Why are you here?

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

"Lovely weather for it."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'