Small Talk Survivors T-Shirts

Conversation pit

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

What price beauty?

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

"The originator of the office birthday party."

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

Dadonomics

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Let's talk about the weather.

Why are you here?

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

"I know absolutely nothing about that subject, but I will give you my opinion."

"We're perennials."

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

"You want to know about my day? Mom, didn't we just do this last month?"

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause