Small But Mighty Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'She may be small, but she's got the spleen of a lion.'

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Oh, he's cute, all right, but he's got the temperament of a car alarm."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

See Manhattan . . . By Car!

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

Speed Checked By Radar.

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

"Then, unfortunately, our market launch ran into a brick wall."

Gloria called

"They say you're only as old as your face."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

The New York Review of Weather.

They get together, feel sorry for themselves, and eat a spreadable meat concoction. It's a pit, pate party!

New Milks

Born into the 21st century.

road sign: "Gilkers Corners Population 926

"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

'Well, we don't sell doll's houses. But even if we did, I don't think Barbie could afford a mortgage without Ken's salary too.'

"Oh, those are the lobbyists who get us our government subsidies."

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

"Yeah, it's all grown locally. Just not locally around here."

"Your dislike of public drinking fountains is the least of our problems here."

Protestor holding sign reading 'Gravitate Locally'.

'Me? I'm from a one horse town. . . It was incredibly lonely.'

"No, Otis, I think it's safe to say Daddy doesn't remember where he parked the car."

All right! I think it's time to take the training shells off, son.