Slumber Party Host Gifts

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Mini Bar

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Cave Girl Slumber Parties

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'He's been shot!'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"Appetizer is almost done."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

Please Leave by 9

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."