Slow-living Champion T-Shirts

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Old Karate Master

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'Get the ball, Leonard! The winning run is rounding second base! You've only got a matter of hours before he scores!'

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

A tortoise

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

There once was a person who planted a seed

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

"I come with my own cubicle."

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

'Sorry, I don't brake for small animals.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."